I am uncertain if this is just a requirement put on by my MWSU, or all universities, but when an undergraduate is in between sixty and ninety credit hours he/she is required to take the English Usage Exam. A little over a month ago I took part in fulfilling said requirement.
Having not written a paper in well over a year I was quite fearful as to where I stood in terms of spelling, grammar, and all other things relating to the English language (should I really capitalize that?). Needless to say when I arrived and took a seat with the countless number of other students my palms did begin to sweat... just a little. I sat next to two friends, and fellow art majors(Linds & Joel), and just before I could ridicule Lindsay for using a regular #2 pencil instead of the far superior mechanical pencil that I found after rummaging through the trunk of my Volvo (is this a run on?) a professor proceeded to give instruction as to how we were to partake illustrious event. Immediately after her very brief an oh-so-informative speech she asked the question of all questions... "how many of you know what a thesis sentence is?" At first I was quite puzzled but raised my hand obediently (even though I'm sure the question was rhetorical in nature), and then gazed about the room at the sparse number of hands that were raised with mine in timid unison. At this point I began to relax as she went from this topic to how one should structure an essay... [scene fades: opens to me frantically proofreading the last paragraph of my paper; quick shot of the clock as it reaches 7:34 p.m.]
Did I forget to mention I had every intention of meeting Kim for a 7:30 p.m. MWSU theater performance/production/rendition of Sam Shepard's "Buried Child" !!!! OH SHIT I'M LATE! After reading through my paper just once I head to the front of the room to check for spelling errors then I'm off to the back of the class room to exit. I'm in such a hurry that I disregard the "do not use as an exit" sign and my B-line to freedom is abruptly halted by the deafening "sckreeeeeeeeeeeeeAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaachhhhh!" of a ginormous lounge chair. Quickly I consider my options as I feel everyones' eyes are on my back, I reach for the door yet again only to be immediately detoured from my path by an "eh-hem" from the instructor. I smirk at her awkwardly and trudge my way to the other side of the testing room where I exit the proper way and accept defeat... woe is me.
Now that I have made it out the only thing left for me to do is drop the paper off at the table outside the exit and sign out! "Did you forget to put a title on your paper?" are the first words out of the girl's mouth as I handed her my loose pages.
"Oh crap, can I write it on there right quick?" I new full well that this was impossible since we were told once we leave nothing could be done to the paper, but I figured since she asked... maybe she would let me.
"Well of course NOT."
Well shit, thanks for pointing it out then! She could have saved me an entire month of stressing by just keeping her mouth shut, but nooooooo. She just had to point out the fact that I'd totally screwed up, and now there wasn't a damn'd thing I could do about it... what a bitch. "Oh, well... ok then. Bye."
Well...... I completely missed the entire first act of the play... meh. Kim said it was hella boring.
[one month later]
w00t! I freak'n passed! (for anyone who cares)
...and I'm sure there are plenty of grammatical errors in this journal and other entries that would actually keep me from passing the English Usage Exam... but I'll never know :D... unless someone decides to tell me... on my way out... :(
